No matter how good or bad a race goes, you cannot leave the race without learning from it. I had a 16 hour drive to think about Saturday's race in Holland. I think part of being a good bike racer is learning from the race, but knowing how to leave it in the past, look forward to the next weekend.
Going into the race, I knew on a basic level what I needed to do. Stay close to the front during the neutral to avoid crashes and the cluster of the big field. The roads were narrow; be up front. The road becomes one lane, even more narrow, crosswinds. If you're not in the front thirty, you're probably going to get gapped and be in a chase group. I knew where I needed to be. But "knowing" doesn't get you very far.
I was really nervous going into the race. Maybe because of the field size, some of the best teams in the world were there, the course, the speed...
Here is a mindset that is not recommended: My last couple races in US and racing in Europe, I've been going into races doubting my ability to finish or do well. In some ways, I guess it provides an incentive to prove myself wrong.
I was talking with the director of the national team before the race. He said this is the deep end of the pool; this is the deepest field you'll be in. I lined up on the front line.
My legs felt fine, my head was out of the game. I still don't even know what to think about that. After we were through town and into the narrow roads, there was a bad crash in front of me. It was a cervelo girl who we had talked to a dinner the night before. When I went by, I really looked at her, crumpled underneath a couple bikes. And I could hear her moaning. That's the scary shit that you don't think about. It happens, it's bike racing...but I kept the picture of her on the ground in my mind. I wasn't mentally in the game in the first place, but was really out of it after that.
I don't mean any of that as an excuse for not finishing a race or not doing well. It's not. I might not have the finished the race had everything been going right for me. But sometimes, no matter how good your legs are, how much you've trained, prepared, if your head isn't in the right place, you're out.
After the race, I didn't know what to think. I needed to take something from it, but I didn't know what. Still don't have a really good idea. I kind of excused myself from the race, thinking that it was OK, because some of the best riders in the world were there. Because the course didn't really suit me. Because I should be satisfied with just being there.
None of those are valid reasons to excuse myself from a race and I have yet to come up with one.
Bad days on the bike happen, bad races happen, or maybe a bad season. But if you take something out of it, learn something, it was worth it.
Monday, April 20, 2009
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Great mindset Lindsay... crashes are a tough thing to wrap your head around when they happen in front of you in a race. You have a great mindset walking away from things, just learn something from every experience and you'll become a better racer. Glad to hear that you came out unscathed.
ReplyDeleteGood post Lindsay.... I'm sure that anyone who has raced has been in the same mind set as you were at one time or another. It's part of moving up to the next level AND learning about yourself.
ReplyDeleteOne of the main things is to keep thinking 'positive' thoughts. Like,"I'm here because I'm good", "I can handle my bike well", "I'm riding with some of the top riders", "Each day is a new experience... each new experience makes me stronger and better" Think these and other 'positive' thoughts as much as possible.... especially before going to sleep.
Cheers,
Mike
Hey Lindsay - You know..the mental side of the sport is the hardest to master...you can be as strong as ever and still doubt. Next time you feel self talk creeping up on you - GO ZEN! Focus on the immediate situation, pedal, be light on the bike and BREATH. Clearly you need to race 'smart' but that doesn't mean you need to think too much ')
ReplyDeleteMatt